Eh, Zombie by David Adams

Author:David Adams
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: David Adams
Published: 2021-08-30T00:00:00+00:00

9 • Fall

☣

What do zombie cats eat?

Brains, of course!

Om nom nom. I lapped at the inside of the empty skull I’d found, licking at the occasional gore splatter, trying to find any last traces of the brains that were once held within. Soft, white jelly. So tasty.

Sniff sniff. No, there was only blood here. Whoever had eaten this one’s nommables had picked it clean.

I jumped up onto a box, licked some ichor off my paw, and then went looking for other empty skulls. Two-legs were big sloppy eaters and they often missed things. Little tasty scraps.

That’s how I survived these days. I was too small to kill two-legs and I understood that. So, instead, I nommed whatever was left behind by the lazy two-legs. They didn’t used to eat each other. Now they did. That was so weird.

I used to live with two two-legs. Poor two-legs. They were bad hunters. I used to bring them mice and other nommables, but they didn’t eat them. I snuggled with them to keep them warm because I thought they might die. I groomed them because they were messy.

One day they got angry and tried to eat me. Two-legs had never done that before and it was scary. So I ran away. I kept coming back, but they would keep trying to eat me, so eventually I left forever.

But the bite on my leg hurt. Soon I was a zombie kitty.

I still liked to nom nom nom but I didn’t like mice anymore. Or rats. Or kitty food. Only brains and only of two-legs.

Not sure why.

I jumped off the box and walked down the alley, butt wiggling behind me. My tail had fallen off. That was weird.

I was okay.

Walk walk walk. I walked down the street, ignored by the two-legs. They were shuffling around, sliding their feet across the ground really weird.

The blood was good but I was still hungry. Needed brains. I followed my nose; one of the two-legs had their brains dangling out of their body. How odd.

I followed the two-legs with the brain hanging out the back. The smell of it was too good.

Wait! I knew this two-legs! This was the feeder one. She would feed me every night. Used to, anyway. She didn’t seem scary anymore. Maybe that’s because she smelled like I did. Weird.

I jumped up on her shoulder. She never used to let me do this. She disliked me using my claws on her. This time she didn’t seem to mind. I licked at her exposed brain.

Ooo, nommy. Lick lick lick. I took a small bite out of it and swallowed. Pretty tasty food.

Om nom nom. I ate the brain, slowly working through the back of the skull until my whole head was inside the two-legs’s head. Smelled like brains. My belly was all full and big.

With one more bite the two-legs fell over. I jumped off and landed on my paws. I felt good. The feeder two-legs had gone to sleep and wasn’t mad any more.

With my belly all full and no more brains to nom, I decided to go have a nap under some boxes.

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